Family & Friends
You cannot change the gambler's behaviour - they have to be willing to change themselves.
As a person without a problem you can't understand why the person with the gambling problem doesn't just stop. They seem like a run-away train. You might try many ways to stop them but you just can't control the person's behaviour.
You need to focus away from their behaviour and deal with your own feelings. This will help you to see the gambler as a person in crisis and out of control. This will then allow you to be supportive and to understand their feelings, and yet not apply pressure about their behaviour.
Does someone you care about have an issue with gambling?
You cannot force someone to acknowledge that they have an issue with gambling but you can encourage them to seek professional help. If you're not sure how to approach the situation, a counsellor can help point you in the right direction.
Gambler's Help also help people who are concerned about someone else's gambling.
How do you know if someone close to you has an issue with gambling?
People gamble for many reasons - for excitement, the thrill of winning or to be social. Gambling becomes an issue when it causes harm to the gambler and those close to them. Usually this means they are spending more money or time on gambling than they can afford.
Signs that gambling has become and issue »
Does one of your parents have an issue with gambling?
You can get help for your family. Gambler's Help is not just for gamblers. Free, confidential, professional counselling is available for families where gambling has become an issue.
Find out how you can get help now »
Counsellors and support for family and friends
FREECALL 24 hours, 7 days a week 1800 858 858 for advice, support and help.
Calls to the Helpline are free. You also can call for help and support outside the area where you live.
For the hearing impaired FREECALL 1800 777 706.
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Comments
Support from those that love you is the most important thing in 'kicking the habit'. Good luck,
My brother had a problem with gambling -- he kept borrowing money and lying to us and his friends and it nearly destroyed him. The good news was that he called the hotline and got help. He hasnt gone back and things are better -- ut it is bloody hard on the family and others. There sdhould be help for the family too maybe?
why do people turn to gambling when a problem arises in the family ?
My boyfriend is a big time gambler. So much in fact that he has run out of money and now asking me for money. I dont even have that much money. I dont know what to do. At times, he demands money so bad that I feel I have to give it to him. What frustrates me is that I save so hard. i save my money and spend it wise. Every time i tell him that his loan request of $200 is a lot of money, he just tells me to think about how much he has put into the machine. I hate how he does not think about how I am feeling. I hate how he does not realise that there are people out there he is hurting. I want to leave him. And i want to leave him purely because of his gambling habits.
3 months ago l was playing the pokies every day l was on a winning streek. but l went to far and now l owe $9.000 on my credit card. it is a really bad feeling that i owe that much.
My partner and I met in 2007 and not long after I fell pregnant, I didnt realise that he had a problem, I didnt even know he gambled at all. About 3 months into my pregnancy he told me he had spent over half of the money we had to renovate before the baby arrived, from there it was just one slip up after another. When I gave birth to our son he was admitted immediatly to the Special Care Nursery for breathing difficulties and close to severe jaundice, My partner met with a group of friends to celebrate the birth of our son. The next day he told me he had spent all the money on my card. I didnt have the energy to be angry at him and I had the welfare of our son preoccupying all of my thoughts.
I will never forgive him for taking away what is meant to be a joyful time - even though our son was unwell.
He still gambles and we will probably have to sell the house. I have all of the cards and I thought that would stop him, but just last week he went into the bank and withdrew at least 2000.
I have never screamed at him and always tried to be supportive. He is 34 and I am 24, you would think he would want to step up and be a man for his son.
Not only is it destroying our financial stability, but I am starting to question my love for him.
To ALL GAMBLERS on behalf of love ones; You are killing us, imagine how you feel when you do it, the shame and embarrassment. That is how we feel when you do it plus anger and digust, what makes it worse is that WE cannot stop it, we are stuck on this ride and YOU are the ONLY one who can stop it.
If you have a loved one who his gambling PLEASE seek out advice and support for yourself. You do not have to go through this alone.
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