dont know where to start.. but I was in adiction of Gambling, was never happy.
lost money... not happy
won money... but still not happy...
lost again... win , loss, loss, loss, win, loss, loss, loss and loss... i still rember the drive back to home with empty pockets... its was so painful... everynight.
its worst than any other addiction.. it runs in my blood.. i nearly runied my married life and i still remember my wife used to beg me to not to leave home in the evening but all i wanted was to leave home and reach the heaven (casino)... all the casino staff used to welcome me with open arms.. free drinks etc.... very heavy bets.... once i was inside casino i felt my life was complete with happiness and no worries for outside world AT ALL... from 2pm till 4am... this was casino closing time.
i used to tell my wife that i am not a gambler but i only go back to try to cover my losses.
it started in 2002 till 2004. lost everything, left pennyless.. and my wife was always there to support me even after all the sufferings. i promised myself not to make her suffer anymore... worked really hard and paid all the loans ( wife went bankrupt bacause of me)
March 2006 i went back in casino I dont know why but went for a fun.. but got hooked back in habbit nicely till Mar 2007...most of the nights of that year were spent in casino... Again lost everything... painful days of my life.
i knew that money belonged to my wife and 5 year old son... i should have spent the money for holidays and shopping and fun for my family but instead what i did was absolutely discusting.
march 2007 i swore of my sons life that i will not gamble in my country.. but only on holidays (out of country).
2008 went without gambling... i paid all my loans.
2009 went without gambling... paid all cards.
2010 went out of country and i enjoyed casino and costed me huge loss in casino...
2011 went out of country..again gambled and lost.
so this way i only gamble 2 to 3 days in one year...and rest of the year I don't think of gambling at all.
my son is 9 and i have a daughter 1 year old.. we are living a happy life... i am a gambler and always will..but i have restricted myself to not to gamble in home country.
its not easy to quit gambling habbit but restrictions really helps. please take care of yourselves and don't punish yourselves with torture 24x7x365.
i have choosen to torture my self for 24x7x2 instead...
love to all of you,
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